By Sandra Chaloux | 11/03/2021

The Transforming Self

The Transforming Self

I just completed reading Who Not How by Dan Sullivan (Founder of Strategic Coach) and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. The book introduced me to work by Harvard psychologist Dr. Robert Kegan and specifically the Transforming Self. He considers the Transforming Self the highest form of psychological and emotional evolution.

According to Kegan, the first level of psychological development is the Socializing Self, which is when a person operates out of fear, anxiety, and dependence. A person at this level doesn't make their own decisions. They don't have their own goals. Instead, they are simply trying to be accepted by their peers and will do anything they can to conform with them.

Above the Socializing Self is the Authoring Self, which is when you've gone from an unhealthy dependence to a much more healthy independence. You've developed your own sense of self. You have a worldview, goals, and an agenda. However, you have a perceptual filter that you cannot see beyond. Everything you do is to confirm your bias and achieve your narrow goals. This is where most people stop in their development, highly convinced of their own perspectives and unwilling to alter those views.

The Transforming Self is different from the Authoring Self in that rather than being individualistic and competitive, it is more relational and collaborative. When at this higher level, you engage in collaborative relationships for the sake of transformation. All parties have their own perspectives, beliefs, and agendas. Yet they come together for the purpose of having their own views, and even their own identities and sense of self expanded. There is a recognition that the whole becomes new and greater than the sum of all parts.

Through collaboration, striving, growth, and connection, people can and do change. They can evolve in ways far beyond what is possible through individualistic pursuits. In order to engage in Transformational Relationships, each of the involved parties must be psychologically evolved to the Transforming Self level. Kegan posits that this psychological level is achieved by less than 10 percent of all individuals and organizations.

Transformational Relationships, as opposed to Transactional ones, are entered into for the purpose of change and growth. In Transformational Relationships, all parties give more than they take. There is an abundance mindset and an openness to novelty and change. Rather than viewing people or services as a "cost" (as in the transactional mindset), everything is viewed as an investment with the possibility of 10X (10 times) or 100 X or even bigger returns and change. 

I am sharing this concept because we are creating a new online community of people who are at the Transforming Self level and are interested in being connected to other like-minded, thoughtful and caring people who are interested in spiritual growth (non denominational), connection, healing, evolution, and powerful collaborations. This community will not be on facebook. It will be on our own private social circle software. If you would like to learn more about this new community, join our wait list here.


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