By Karen David, RN | 08/15/2016

(ID)entity: Discovering Your Purpose, Part 1

(ID)entity: Discovering Your Purpose, Part 1

“I am struggling with the infamous ‘middle-age’ question as to what I am to make of my life now. A huge obstacle for me is a lack of confidence…not ‘just’ a mother anymore! The ‘Who am I?’ and “What is/are my passions?’ are two huge goals I wish to begin to tackle…coupled with the confidence to explore such possibilities.”

When I received this message from one of our subscribers, admittedly, my heart was touched on a very deep level. This is something I can very personally relate to. Before launching Wellness Hub, I was asking myself many of the same questions for a few years. I want to spend some time exploring these challenges, as I believe they mark a season of life that we can all relate to and learn from. We all crave a sense of belonging and purpose in our lives, and navigating change often leaves us feeling insecure and unsure of who we are and where we fit in.

This is the first in what will be a series of posts to help us all discover and embrace our unique worthiness and how to drive towards our new “identity” as we move through life.

A big thanks to Karen David from Live Life Well Consulting for helping with this first piece!

Q.What suggestions do you have for those of us who have entered a new season of life, where our children are grown and out of the house, and we find ourselves asking “Who am I now?”

A: This is a great question, and one that both men and women often ponder, though men may not express it as verbally or as often. I encourage an individual to approach this season of life with exploration. Often I may ask them a direct question, like:

“If money, time and talent were not an issue, what would you do?”

“What do you find yourself doing and you lost track of time because you are so absorbed in that task?”

These questions begin to reveal traits, values and beliefs that the individual has and may not have recognized in themselves – talents and interests like working with others, being creative, managing events, numbers, etc.

Q. Do you have any helpful books or resources, or self-assessment tools that you recommend to people who are exploring their passions and life purpose?

A: I love sharing one of my favorite books with others. “The Dalai Lama’s Cat” by David Michie. I love experiencing the teaching and love of the Dalai Lama through the eyes of a cat. This book offers an individual a pleasant examination of their own life purpose.

Another great book that I often recommend is “Emergence: Seven Steps for Radical Life Change” by Derek Rydall. In this book, the reader is given the opportunity to go through an internal process seeking success.

I also often recommend that the individuals I meet or work with engage the help and insights of a counselor or coach. Finding someone that they feel safe opening up to – someone that will hear their fears, dreams and passions – will give them the support and encouragement they need to achieve greatness.

Q. What causes people to lose confidence in themselves?

A: I do not believe there is one answer to this question. We may fall victim to the prevalent message in our marketplace, where we are pressured to conform to a certain “norm” – the right products, the perfect body type, the popular style – and grow discouraged because we do not measure up. Our insecurity may stem from the highlight reels splayed across social media, where we feel pressured to share only the good, and hide the “bad,” or even just our regular normal day to day lives.

Regardless of the where and how, what I have observed and even experienced myself is a monumental loss of connection to one’s self. This loss is perpetuated in our relationships and daily lives, manifesting as anxiety, stress, illness and more.

Many women also struggle with their own worthiness and self-care, losing the importance and “ID” of “me,” among the busyness of our roles as caretakers for our families and those around us.

Q. What steps can we take to increase our confidence and calm our inner critics as we explore new possibilities?

A: The best place to start is with you. Take a close look at your values, your belief system and your daily behaviors. What do you like and dislike about how you spend both your time and your money?

From there, consider where you can begin or develop a new practice that gives some much-needed attention to your self-care. Perhaps you set aside some time for calm inward reflection by journaling or meditating. Maybe you focus your energy on improving your knowledge of self by eating well, taking part in a new physical activity or even be more attentive to disease management.

Maybe it’s time to explore new relationships by involving yourself in volunteer work, civic groups or even simply by spending time getting to know your neighbors. Take the time to plan, implement and evaluate the new routines you bring into your daily life.

Q. How can working with a coach help someone who is seeking these kinds of answers?

A: Working with a coach brings someone into your life who serves as both your advocate and your accountability partner. Your coach is your own personal mirror to what is inside. Your coach is your safe place, where you can freely share your heart, your dreams, your fears and your desires.

A coach can offer crucial clarification to your words, giving voice and image to what they hear you say (or not say). When you work with a coach to explore and embrace who you are in this season of life, you will be encouraged to develop a plan of action, implement and evaluate that plan alongside someone who is equally vested in your success. The end result is a more empowered, enlightened you!

Stay tuned for more in our series! Please know this is a safe place for you to share life’s challenges and your dreams for your future health and wellness. As you continue on with us on the path to your “ID” in this world, please let us know what you discover as your unique purpose and power. Step into your greatness!

About the Author: 

Sandra Chaloux is the founder of WellnessHubNova.com –the premier source for holistic health information and consumer-recommended service providers in Northern Virginia.

About Karen David:

Karen is a Registered Nurse and Wellness Coach at Live Life Well Consulting who focuses on stress reduction, wellness habits and practices and meditation. 

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